What my secrets are…

For this edition of Thankful Thursday, I have a particular thank you to a group of people who spent a few minutes with me this past week.  On Tuesday, I was having a particularly not great day.  I asked my peeps if they had any songs that were uplifting. People came out in bunches to share things with me.  In my musical wanderings, I came across Mary Lambert’s song Secrets.  The secret that I’ve been harbouring lately is that I have a damaged nerve in my right ear that affects my balance and ability to function at full capacity.  With the help of a physiotherapist, I’m relearning to walk normally and read when looking downwards. It’s definitely getting better and I do have short periods of time now where I’m almost practically normal – otherwise, I’d never be able to write this blog post or record this video.   I also have long stretches where it’s not okay and that always disappoints me.

My islands of balance and okayness are short and exhausting but they do give me hope. I have spent so much of my summer sleeping. My doc and physiotherapist say that this is ok.  My brain and left ear are getting organized and they’re remapping stuff.  I decided to use some of my ‘ok islands’ over the last few days to say thank you and to dance around in my kitchen chair.  I can’t dance standing up yet but I will!  My recovery time has been way longer than I’d thought and though it’s hardly life threatening.  It sometimes gets me down.

For those of you already in the know, who listened sympathetically and patiently to my story and its progression this summer, or who posted tunes when I needed a lift here or on my Facebook page, I thank you. For realzies.  You never know how your actions affect others.  I’m trying to get back to normal. You’re helping. I’m grateful.

Take a peek at my goofiness:

Proper video for Mary Lambert’s ‘Secrets’:



How have I angered you now?

I have angered the coffee gods in some way.   I’ve been lumping along in a tenuous ‘woman vs. coffee machine’ relationship for the past six months with unfortunate results.

Here’s what happened AGAIN on Saturday morning.


Coffee Ground Barf-O-Rama.


Rustin was so entertained with my cranked state that he had to take a picture.  I was less than amused.


Big mess AND no coffee.



Here’s what gets my goat, this coffee ground ‘barf-o-rama’ doesn’t happen to anyone else when they make coffee using my machine.

Just. Me.

Why?  Why me?

I love you so much coffee and yet your makers seem to spurn my nerdy love!


It’s all you, Darling. Thankful Thursday.

If you hoped that today’s post was going to be a love post where I write reams of grateful-ositude about how I love you and us so much. It’s not on.

This is about COFFEE. Darling, wonderful coffee.

I’m thankful for coffee.  Here are a few reasons why:

  1. Unlike smoking or drinking, caffeine is a drug that no one questions. No one looks askance if you’re having some. No one ever says: ‘What are you doing with that coffee?! My god, woman!  Do you have NO REGARD for your health?!’
  2. It’s social.   It can be an opportunity to have a conversation with someone you want to know more about.  Meaning you can mack on someone without being too obvious.  (This partly relies on your macking skills but it can be done.)
  3. It’s a personality type indicator – ok, not really.  But I think you can tell a few things about me by my coffee order.  It’s a …  you know what, it’s too long to get into here.  Sufficed to say that my order involves variations of syrups and milk,  a specific temperature, no foam and interpretive dance.  Yeah, I can be a coffee princess.


    Me and Rustin at Sbux.

  4. The caffeine in coffee helps me pull my sh*t together in a way that no other drug can.  Imbibing just the right amount makes me feel awesome and motivated.  Not many other things do that for me.

There are a ton of people and situations that I’m thankful for, for realzies. If you opened this post and hoped that I’d written something darling about you.  Sorry, Honey.  I love coffee, alright?  That’s how shallow I am.

But you knew that already, eh? Yeah.

My cat, the extortionist.

The other cats seem to actively avoid my cat Pepper in our neighbourhood.
Initially, I was indignant for her.

Why is my cat the outcast?! Why is she not invited to play in their reindeer games? Cat-Bullies!

Lately, my opinion has shifted.  She’s often out overnight. In the morning, she proudly deposits her conquests on our doormat.  But she’s so consistent, it makes me wonder.  Cats have off days, don’t they?

I got to thinking maybe she’s getting her ‘nights take’ from other cats.  Maybe she’s actually the cat version of Don Corleone. She’s an EXTORTIONIST!

The other cats seem to keep a good distance from our yard.  Cats I once perceived as bullies now look scared. They give Pepper an especially wide berth.

This week, I found a sizeable chunk of NOT HER OWN kitty fur in her claws. I’m not saying what colour the fur is in case my neighbours read this. (They likely don’t, but one can’t be too careful if your cat is Don Corleone).

She meows like a juker if we don’t let her out at night.


Cat Gangsters

I think Pepper’s cat-gang toadies are expecting their leader.


I can see the scene now:

Damn it, Blackie. I said two chipmunks this week. All you bring me is this raggedy mouse head? You know I love you like family but this?  This can’t go on. You insult me.  You insult my family.  What am I supposed to bring them? When you bring me this?

Just saying, she looks guilty as hell.


Don Corleone


Why am I hugging you?!

Every Thursday in going to get Thankful up in here! (Up in here!) Stay tuned on Thursdays for thankful posts. I’m not religious or whatever. Just thankful for tons of stuff. I’d love to hear from you about things for which you are thankful.

Given my vertigo, here are a few things I’m thankful for lately:

Slip-on shoes. Bending down has so not been happening these past weeks. Flat slip-on shoes for the win!

Netflix. Though I’m normally a Netflix junkie, I’ve ripped through my share of whole, entire series of shows lately. A friend of mine offered like 3 new series up to me recently and I was able to answer -affecting nonchalance that I’d already seen them all! (Kind of embarrassed about that-don’t I have other I interests?!)

Sturdy, kind people. In my adventures out in the world these past few weeks, many people, sometimes complete strangers, have seen me standing uncertainly at the top of the stairs and have offered to lend me a hand.
Case in point, my extremely busy doctor kindly took me by the arm and walked me down the hallway and waited with me as my partner nipped the car out of the lot.

As I’m lurching along through these moments, I’m touched. I want to hug these people as they try to get on their way. Such kindness!

Those of you who know me well, know I’m no hugger. I’m blaming the vertigo for turning me into this huggy-type person. Odd side effect, that.

Thankful Thursday! What are you thankful for?