Damn the paps! I’m super famous now.

Today, I’m thankful for my partner, Rustin. He’s a total goof but for the last six weeks he’s hauled my ass off the grass, carpet, concrete or wherever I’ve landed because I deludedly thought my broken ear was ‘totally all better now’. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, go here.

The other night, I fell off our sleigh bed because I went looking for something under it. I got stuck spinning hopelessly with my butt and legs on my bed and my head squashed painfully into the carpet.  He hauled my top half back up onto the bed and we both laughed while my balance came back. Lifting even half of me is no easy feat. I’m not a small woman.  While we laughed and I waited for the world to stop revolving so quickly, I got to thinking about how as a couple, our roles have subtly shifted.

See, when we’re out and about, instead of me feeling all debilitated, Rustin lets me pretend that I’m super famous.  He plays the role of my handler/bodyguard.  Here are a few situations that this ‘game’ has been particularly helpful.

Heavy things to carry that upset my balance? Give them to my handler.  He’ll whisk that heavy item away.

Upon encountering an obstacle course of children, shopping carts and boxes at the grocery store, my bodyguard navigates me through the chaos as if I was swarmed by fans.

When suddenly overwhelmed by a busy environment and I’m not sure what we’re doing next?  Check with my handler – he’s got the schedule for my next appearance.

If a stranger asks me a hard question when I’m dizzy and I don’t know how to answer? Just look silently and distractedly to my handler. He intervenes quickly and with authority.

Ms. Hollywood is done answering questions today.

They always find me!

Damn the paps.

Though I’m making light of it,  all these things *have* happened in the last while.  Goofing around and pretending I’m super famous takes the edge off of me feeling so dependent. This ‘superstar’ is really glad Rustin is there.

I do hope this ‘game’ doesn’t go on forever.  Though I do enjoy the company of my handler/bodyguard, being escorted around gets boring. I’d like to navigate the store on my own, thanks.

And frankly?  The paparazzi is annoying the hell out of me.

IMG_2178

Me and my ‘handler’.

There you have it, another Thankful Thursday.  What are you thankful for, darling?  Do tell me in the comments below.

I read your comments and love them all.  But you knew that already, eh? Yeah.

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